A little funny for you

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, ‘A hamburger, fries and a coke,’ and turns to the ostrich, ‘What’s yours?’ ‘I’ll have the same,’ says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order ‘That will be $9.40 please,’ and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment. The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, ‘A hamburger, fries and a coke.’ The ostrich says, ‘I’ll have the same.’ Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. ‘The usual?’ asks the waitress. ‘No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,’ says the man. ‘Same,’ says the ostrich. Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, ‘That will be $32.62.’ Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. ‘Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?

‘ ‘Well,’ says the man, ‘several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.’ ‘That’s brilliant!’ says the waitress. ‘Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!’ ‘That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,’ says the man.. The waitress asks, ‘What’s with the ostrich?’ The man sighs, pauses and answers, ‘My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.’

It just goes to show, you got to be careful what name you use to get a woman. You get what you wish for. Thanks to a fellow quality geek for the funny today.

Another moment to remember

Quick funny from last night. Thought I would share. Since everytime I think about it I gotta laugh.

Every Wednesday I go out with a couple of friends of mine. I call them troublemakers, because 2 years ago they decided to re-decorate my front lawn with styrofoam cups skewed with hot dog sticks in the ground, plastic forks all over and shaving cream in the driveway on the front porch and Vaseline on the door. I should also mention it was payback from 2 Band Directors, since I TP’d their Cabin at Band camp. It was my Son’s Senior year, and my Daughter’s freshman year and I opted to be a Senior Mom so I could get into trouble.

Back to last night. One of my friends came to pick me up and we went to pick up the other friend. When we got to her house , I said I would get into the backseat, it be easier on me then her. So I got out of the car, shut the car door, to open the back door and get in. Sounds simple right? Well, not if there isn’t a backseat door.I am not sure what possessed me to think there was. The look was priceless that I had on my face when I discovered it was not going to happen. I did like a obscure Chinese fire drill..got out, closed the door, turned in a circle just to be abruptly stopped by the absence of another door. I opened the Passenger door again, and my friend was just busting out laughing, and the other that we picked up had tears in her eyes. My face had to be red, I felt very dumb at that point, but had to laugh. My friend that was driving said, this made his day. He will never forget the look on my face when I discovered there was no door.  Anyway we got to the Bar and both turned around and asked me if I was exiting the car a different way then the usual. I just love my friends.

Reflecting

This weekend, my Daughter and I spend a day together, having a movie/brownie marathon. We each cuddled up under a Blanket and watched all Harry Potter movies and ate the brownies I baked.

So Sunday as she was off with her boyfriend shopping, I reflected for a little bit on me and her, on our trials and tribulations that we went through not too long ago.

See, me and her didn’t get along so well a couple of years ago. We were fighting non-stop. She hated me every single day and no matter what I did, or how supportive I was, it was never good enough for her. And it did not help that I had a Ex-husband that just fed on that and didn’t make things any easier.

There was even a time were I thought I should just give up trying and let her live with her Dad, then that would surely save me my time, energy, nerves and sanity. But I didn’t, I kept fighting and doing what every Mother does, I just kept loving her and stood my ground, until she realized that Mom wasn’t so bad after all and that her Dad..well that is another story in itself.

She has changed a lot, especially the last few months or since I had my Surgery. She did a lot of growing up. Next month she will be 16, and I am so happy that I stuck it out and kept loving her, no matter how tough it got, so I get the pleasure of having this remarkable, funny, smart young Lady in my Life.

So for any Parent out there, that right now is going through a rough time with their kids, hang in there, keep loving them and show them. Eventually it will stick and they will realize that. It may be a  tough fight but in the long run it is worth it.

Our funny home

I have a funny Story to tell you all. If you know me from Twitter, you know that I have a weird sense of humor and my kids have inherited that also.

So with me being on Pain killers, some heavy duty ones I might say, the kids are just having a ball with me, because apparently when I sort of wake up, after I take them and have fallen asleep, I forget what dimension I am in. I apparently have greeted my kids several times like I have not seen them for a year or so, have agreed on letting them hold wild parties and funky sleepovers. Buying things for them, and have had conversations with them that include forcing them to eat Brownies. If I see a youtube video about me like that on the Internet, they better run and hide really good.

Well with that also comes that I am not exactly on top of things and that includes getting my daughter up in the morning this week to go to school. I either sleep to good, and not hear the alarm clock or do what I did yesterday. And that is the funny Story.

I got a new Skype phone from a friend and I played around with it and found that it had an Alarm on it. So I set the Alarm for 6:30 am to get my daughter up for school. And I wanted to see if it worked and how it sounded.

Well 6:30 came and the Alarm went off, I heard it, got up and went out to the Living room turned it off after I found the right button, and went back to bed and to sleep. All the while thinking oh that Alarm clock sounds great. You see where I am going with this?

So next I wake up with my Daughter hovering over me, and going : Thank you for waking me up. It is 7:14 am, I had no time to wash my hair, it looks all icky, and Beth is going to be here soon, and I won’t have time to eat my Breakfast. You want the rest of my toast? All the while I am laying there wondering what the heck is going on? What happened? Did I miss something?

So all confused I got up, while she was grabbing her Backpack and mumbling out the door, that Life is just weird and she is hungry and wants to finish eating her Breakfast.

She got home in the afternoon with her boyfriend, and my Son and his girlfriend walked in at the same time also and the fun began. I told them all what a start to the day I had with my daughter just hovering over me and all. All of them were laughing, my daughter was denying that it was that bad. She asked that when I got up and turned the phone off, if I didn’t realize why I got up at 6:30 am? That I just got up for no apparent reason? I said, no I got up and was excited because the Alarm on the phone worked and that it sounded nice and went back to bed. Well you know that everyone was cracking up with that answer, which is true. So everyone was asking why she doesn’t set her Alarms and get up when they go off, and she said, she sleeps trough them. She tried that before and it doesn’t work. That the only thing that wakes her up is her Moms voice saying: Alex, rise and shine Sweetheart. Time to get up. Isn’t that sweet?

So this morning, I really had the intention of waking her up. I set 2 Alarm clocks, honestly I did. Well I got woken up by my daughter saying: Are you ever going to wake me up again? I don’t know what happened. I do not recall hearing any alarms or anything.

But I did go and make her toast with jam on it, so she could have breakfast before her ride came to pick her up, and I gave her kiss on her forehead and wished her a wonderful day. So I did not fall that much out of her good graces for today.