Surprised and proud!
04 Dec 2008 Leave a Comment
in parenting Tags: bell ringer, daughters, giving, grateful, money, store
Earlier this evening, once I got home, I picked up my Daughter to go Grocery shopping, because it is her notion that i don’t ever buy anything to eat for her. Refer to a earlier post about this subject and you will know.
So we went through the Grocery Store, and I let her do the shopping, in a way. I made sure that she picked up things that she would eat but also not go overboard of picking one of each.
After we went through the check-out and left the store, she stopped in her track, and gave money ( and I mean her own) to the Bell ringer for the Salvation army. I was just in awe, after I saw that.
Now we are talking about a teenage girl who will keep her own money and ask me for money to go to the movies with and spends my money whenever she gets a chance.
So I just thought I would let you all know, that I am very proud of Daughter of making such a nice gesture on her own, and that maybe she does listen when I tell her, that there are a lot of people out there that have a lot less then us and she should be grateful for the things she does have.
Boyfriend test ?
10 Sep 2008 3 Comments
in parenting Tags: boyfriends, dating, daughters, opinions, test
Okay, looking at my blog entries and how some people stumbled up on it, one of the searches was boyfriend test. Made me chuckle a bit. So here is my general idea on how to see if the boy that your daughter is dating or wants to date, worthy to even step in to your house.
First off there is no test. Either you like him or not. My first impression of a boy is what makes it or brakes it. If the boy shows up with pants hanging down to his knees, a baseball cap on backwards and says ” Yo” to me, we are already done and he can leave. Any boy that looks like the grim reaper, has more piercings then me or can’t say” Hello Mrs. such and such” stop turn around and leave. I am all for individuality and expressing yourself, but when you show up at your girlfriends house to introduce yourself, keep your individuality in check and make yourself presentable. If it happens that you strike up a conversation with the boy, and talk about his interests and what he is all about and it comes to light that he is actually more comfortable with dark clothes and likes to listen to NIN, you know at least that he is aware to be presentable in situations were it counts.
Manners. That is a biggie, and I don’t think I have to go into much detail about this. Thank you and please go a long way.
The way he talks about his Mom. Yea I know, sounds weird. But it is very true. If he talks about his Mom respectfully, or about his Parents in general that is a good sign. Means that he has a good relationship with them, knows what they do for him and is appreciative. He will treat your daughter right.
Beware of the ones that try to overdo it with impressing you. Those usually bring up a red flag in my head. They are too good to be true. If they are fake now, they will fake their way through the relationship with your daughter too.
I have been fortunate to know the boys that my daughter had her usual ” crushes” on in the past years. So it was easy for me to have an opinion of them. But in most cases because communities are bigger then mine here, you are not able to form an opinion about them.
Oh one more piece of advise, if it happens that your daughter brings home a young man that you absolutely dislike, don’t let your daughter know. Daughters get rebellious when they know you dislike him and then you are really in trouble. If she asks you what do you think of him, just say ” Very liberated young man”…use a lot of big words, that sound good to her and with any hope that relationship will be over before she can figure out what it all meant. Feel free to comment and add your own piece of advise on this. I know I just skimmed from the top here. But a few more pointers might help other parents that have teenage daughters that are approaching the dating stage and panic about it.
My wonderful but crazy daughter :)
05 Aug 2008 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: crazy, daughters, driveway, gravel
So I came home yesterday and was greeted by a driveway that was all dug up. My daughter and her boyfriend decided to dig up my driveway, make it bigger and then put gravel back down on it. She employed a few more of her friends that helped them. Then today this is what was going on. She got her boyfriend and another friend to even out the one side by the back porch. Now the question is, where will she get the gravel from? I talked to her last night, to see what her plan was, and that is were I am supposed to come in according to her today. She and her boyfriend will price out gravel and then give me the cost. Boy oh boy..I am really gonna worry about that. But the neighbors are just loving it, they keep telling me how hard she is working and how she has all of them boys just marching to her tune….
Some advise to parents of teenage daughters
04 Aug 2008 Leave a Comment
in parenting Tags: advise, communications, daughters, pregnancy, teenagers
Alright, I did not write a book on how to raise your child the correct way, nor do I have a degree in that field. But what I do know is, that I did not want to make the same mistake with my daughter , that my Mother made with me. See this summer during her visit here, I found out why she and my grandfather never spoke to each other all my life, and even when he died, neither one of them forgave each other. And to my surprise my mother admitted to me, that she was repeating the same wrong doing with me and even though it did cause a rift between me and her during my teenage years, she realized that if she continued with this viscous cycle we would wind up just the same way. And I certainly did not want to make the same mistake with my kids.
Okay with that said, here is a little story that happened right here in my house yesterday.
My daughter came home with one of her friends, a young Lady that I met once on Prom night when she and her boyfriend stopped by to pick up my daughter and her date for the evening. Her friend immediately rushed to the bathroom, while my daughter came up to me, and told me that this young lady just broke up with the boy that she went to prom with and is now in my bathroom taking a pregnancy test.
Well can you imagine the thoughts that went through my head? What if she is pregnant and is falling apart in my bathroom? What should I say to her? And more.
She came back out of the bathroom a little bit later, and sat down and my daughter told her that she had spilled the beans to me on what she was doing in the bathroom, and she looked at me shocked at first, like she expected me to start yelling or something. But I did not say anything. Well she said that it was negative, and then out of the blue she spilled her guts to me, on how they broke up and why. And on how her family reacted to the breakup. And here is the one sentence that strikes me wrong everytime I hear it, because it was one of my mothers favorite ” I told you so”. The young lady continued to tell me the details of the conversation with her parents, and there was not a single sentence in there that resembled to anything remotly to support. So I talked to her, and gave her some advise and just before they left, I looked at her and said to her ” And use your head young lady so you don’t have to do this again”, pointing at the bathroom. I then jokently added ” No hanky panky without a rubber on the little wanky”. My daughter and her laughed and she looked at me and said ” Thank you”, and I could tell she was relieved and she meant it.
So now you are going, well this happens all the time with lots of girls, and this is nothing new and whats the point writing about this. I tell you whats the point.
If this young lady at 17 has to take a pregnancy test at someone elses house, it tells me that her line of communication with her parents is non existent. If there was any communication there, she should be on birth control, she should be able to come to her parents and tell them about it and her concerns. As a parent it is your responsibility to ensure that your daughter and even your son understands the meaning of the birds and the bees. Don’t rely on your school system to teach it to them, because that is not enough. I started talking to my kids about the birds and the bees when they where in 5th grade going into middle school. Talk to them normally about it. Don’t scare them about sex with old wife tales. And yes it is uncomfortable for both sides. You will hear “ewww” and ” MOOOOMMM” or “Daaaadddd” and will get an embarassed face and the eye roll. But make sure that they understand that the lines of communication is there and that they can come to you. Don’t put down some hard nosed rules about this and scare them, you will only accomplish the same kind of result as with that young lady. Would you not rather know what your daughter or son is doing then find out from other people, or worse when they have gotton themselves into a bad position? I am not saying, let your kids go out and have sex, far from it. Trust me, if chasity belts were available my daughter would wear one till she was 25, but that is not an option nowadays. But I did talk to her and her boyfriend (yes her boyfriend) about this.
So instead of adopting the attitute of the 3 monkeys, see nothing, hear nothing, say nothing, choose the option of talking to your daughter and be supportive. And you may not like to hear what they are telling you and it will make your heart skip a beat sometimes and panic mode will kick in, but if you talk to them in a normal way, they will make the right decision. And you will be involved in their lives and a better parent for it.
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