A few weeks back, I decided to make some changes in my personal Life that I felt were necessary for me to quiet my inner turmoil that eventually seeped outward and affected my way of dealing with people and other situations. Ultimately the results of those changes, did not completely quiet the turmoil so I had to go and take stock of what else needed to be done.
Realizing that I have become once again an Enabler was one. That was pretty tough to take, since I thought I knew how to handle it and not fall back into the same role. And even though it was not enabling in the same way as years ago, I allowed myself to become the enabler pretty much in other areas. So back to work on this one.
Going back to meditation. I’ve realized that I completely dropped meditation out of my daily life for quit some time now, heck I would say years. Remembering how good it felt and what calmness it achieved, I started back on this routine to help me find my way back to clarity.
Setting up my own personal boundaries again. Changing what crosses these boundaries and not allowing them to manifest themselves in my mind, my personal space and hinder me from progressing of quieting the turmoil within me.
Making room, letting go of things that are not mine to have or to make, things that I cannot control or change in all aspects of my daily life.
Take stock of my own faults, and recognize them at face value and work on them. Without working on them, everything else will be worthless.
” May my higher power grant me Serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
and Wisdom to know the difference.”
Once in a while you encounter a situation that as a human being you feel compelled to step in and try to make it better or help the other person. But sometimes, you have to make the tough decision on not to give in to this urge and let the other person work out their problems on their own.
Right now and it has been for a while now, I have been in a situation like this, were I felt compelled to help and reach out and offer advice, only to watch this Person to continue on the same path. A path that undoubtedly does not benefit them nor improve their Life.
I understand that humans can fall into this trap of depression, this state of despair, like there is no hope or solution or even anything better. I’ve been there and yes I occasionally I still tend to wander there. But it is one thing to give in, complain about it or half heartedly seek a solution to it. Or perhaps wait for a miracle?
So yes , I made the decision to step back and let it be. I was getting more frustrated in this Persons decision-making then it was worth, and caused me to be angry about this easy come, easy go attitude. And it became obvious to me, that this Person is not willing to take the proverbial Bull by the horn and do something to make a change in their Life for themselves or the people surrounding them. I know it is easier said then done, and perhaps some of you readers might think I am being selfish. But one thing I learned back in my days in Al-Anon, you cannot control a situation or make a situation better for the other Person if they are not willing to make the changes themselves.
So yes this was a tough decision to make, to separate myself from that Person and hope that they will find the energy, the motivation one day to make the changes themselves, that they can be proud of for doing it on their own.
